Doug Kelly


Let’s Not Get Fresh

I just formed a company to provide catchy advertising slogans. I figure that if Wall Street PR firms can knock down millions for lame catchphrases like “Pizza! Pizza!” for Little Caesars, I might as well get my beak wet too....


Philosophers to Celebrate Centennial

On Wednesday, December 18th, the centennial anniversary banquet of the Florida League Of Philosophers will be held in Clearwater. What began in 1919 as a gathering of over 100 of The Sunshine State’s brightest minds has declined to less than a...


I Hate Kayaks

Photo by Pete Nowicki on Unsplash A few weeks ago I penned a blog about sailboats, and I now take aim at an even more primitive craft: kayaks. To put it mildly, I’d sooner get naked and hug a cactus...


Save the Skeeters

Photo by Inge Maria on Unsplash It's been raining a lot in Clearwater lately and we know what that means: mosquito time. But a new and revolutionary initiative is about to dramatically shift the way the world now views mosquitoes....


A Fish Fight

At the risk of disappointing readers who would like a treatise on “The Dynamics of Debentures,” I’ve decided that first we must put to bed the following controversy: If you tie a largemouth bass tail-to-tail with a mackerel of the...


Dealing with a Car Dealership

I recently pulled into a car dealership to check out the newer gas-saving compacts and immediately felt like a fish in an aquarium. Eyes blanketed me through the showroom window and a salesman, coiled near the entrance like a starving...


Watch Out!

How will the parent of a screaming two-year-old handle the situation?   How about the sight of too much flesh crammed into a pair of too-tight jeans? And what about the young woman and a dude at least twice her...


Sailboat for Sale

It's disgusting to see sailboats cluttering up our waterways. What does anyone see in these bodacious boats? They’ve got to be the most ridiculous form of transportation ever invented. First of all, it’s archaic to depend on the wind to...

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