If Florida Can Have Alligator Alley, Why Can’t New Jersey Have the Pinelands Purgatory?

A New Jersey Argument in Favor of Pinelands Purgatory

The Garden State of New Jersey is a place of contrasts, with its busy cities, tranquil beaches, and the vast, mysterious Pine Barrens. However, despite its economic might and diversity, New Jersey does not have a federal penitentiary facility comparable to Florida’s Alligator Alcatraz, which has come to represent safe, state-specific confinement.

In order to meet the demands of the area and solidify New Jersey’s position in the country’s correctional landscape, the Trump administration needs to rectify this oversight and open Pinelands Purgatory, a federal prison located in the center of South Jersey’s Pine Barrens.

The conditions at Alligator Alcatraz, the gators, the swamp, and the enormous skeeters are all points of contention, but they are nothing compared to what awaits those imprisoned in the Pinelands Hell.

Governor Phil Murphy has ordered thermostats to be set to a state-mandated 78 degrees while inside the Pinelands Purgatory. They will be forced to use the awful paper straws, which only endure for four or five sips, to drink their beverages.

The feared South Jersey pizza and soda, which are said to be the worst in the country, will comprise their diet. Since the receivers won’t have access to the quality New York stations, they will have to watch Philadelphia Phillies baseball games.

Even worse, those who manage to get away will have to contend with the danger posed by the local pineys and the notorious New Jersey driver. They won’t make it very far.

The New Jersey Devil will undoubtedly grab them first if the Pineys and New Jersey drivers don’t.

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A prime example of how location may improve security is Alligator Alcatraz in Florida, which is situated amid the marshy Everglades. Encircled by wildlife and dangerous waters, it uses the state’s natural features to discourage escape attempts. The Pine Barrens in New Jersey have a comparable possibility. This heavily forested, sandy-soiled area, which covers more than a million acres, is infamously challenging to traverse. Legends of the Jersey Devil combine with its winding rivers, bogs, and paths to form a natural stronghold. Because of its remote location and the psychological impact of the Pines’ ominous reputation, a jail here would be impenetrable.

The Port Newark Pokey, also known as Delaney Hall in North Jersey, is a detention center, but it is nothing like a full-fledged federal facility. It is situated in an industrial area and is more appropriate for temporary detention than permanent confinement. South Jersey deserves a facility that can house high-security inmates, ease overcrowding in neighboring state prisons, and stimulate the local economy because of its large, unused acreage. In an area where jobs are frequently in short supply, Pinelands Purgatory may hire hundreds of people, from support workers to corrections officers.

Some would contend that a new prison is not feasible in New Jersey due to the state’s dense population and environmental issues.

However, there are few people living in the Pine Barrens, and contemporary building methods can reduce their negative ecological effects. Alligator Alcatraz raised comparable issues for Florida, but the state struck a compromise between environmental care and security. The Pines’ distinctive environment can be preserved in New Jersey by employing stringent oversight and sustainable architecture.

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With its emphasis on maintaining law and order, the Trump administration has an opportunity to have a significant impact in New Jersey. In addition to meeting a basic need, Pinelands Purgatory would demonstrate a dedication to justice. Why should New Jersey use haphazard fixes while Florida has a premier facility? In keeping with the administration’s focus on infrastructure and security, establishing a federal jail in the Pine Barrens would be a daring and sensible decision.

We implore President Trump and his administration to take this suggestion into account. Together, we can make Pinelands Purgatory a jail as strong and hardy as New Jersey itself. Awaiting you are the Pine Barrens.

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